I’ve adopted a new ideology when it comes to this war, and it consists of one word; meh. You can’t really fit this ideology anywhere between the pro-war and anti-war stances; it kind of is out there on its own. Sure, before the war I was anti. Then for a brief period of time I got a surge of what we were doing over there was right. Now I’m looking at both those stances and am weary of believing in either of them.

To be truly against this war you must believe in all of its reasoning. You have to believe that Saddam, however tyrannical, is free of bio/chemical/atomic weapons. You must believe that he does not support terrorist organizations that could potentially attack the US or its allies. Along the same lines, just flip everything around and you have the pro-war reasoning.

I’m not writing to argue one side or the other, everyone but me seems pretty entrenched in their beliefs either way. That is the problem. I think both sides potentially have it wrong due to the lack of proper facts, and to believe strongly either way is to insinuate that you have it all figured out. I’ve argued both ways now, and both sides have keen arguments. No wonder this is such a heated debate, for both sides sound completely reasonable. I have seen people I respect argue both sides. These people are not ones who believe everything they are told, but have seriously thought of the issue and have come to a conclusion. So I can only see the problem as one thing; it all boils down to how you interpret the information.

Important shit that information is. After all, we do live in the Information Age. I think I can safely say that if you look back in history you will find that in every age, the people who didn’t have what the age was defined by were pretty much useless; simple pawns to the people who did.

This war was started with, and heavily relies on information. Bush did not come to his conclusion because Saddam invaded, assassinated, or recently killed masses of people. True, he has done or attempted all of it in the past, but it wasn’t the kick-starter to the war. He (Bush) relied on information, and has blatantly held the facts away from both the American public, and more importantly, the world. In this war, words speak louder than actions.

What an awful predicament the Bush Administration has got into. What an awful leadership they really are. They get no brownie points for holding back the factual, unequivocal, and outright proof for this war they claim to have (guess that was had because nobody seems to care anymore). Whatever propaganda you believe in, just blame it on them. The time came and went for them to give us the proper facts. They have made the supporters of this war their pawns. Likewise, France, Russia, Iraq, and more have made people their pawns.

Meh. Mmmmeeeeehhhhhh!!! This war is more a battle of words and banter than bullets and bombs. In this battle everyone has been given a gun and bullets made of dust. Although it’s funny to see everyone running around yelling at each other and getting all dirty, I’m tired. I’m just going to go sit in the corner and watch. Anybody want to play rock-paper-scissors?

Recently I have decided I’m not going to smoke cigarettes. Since I have decided this, I look upon the whole idea of smoking, and the people who do it as completely stupid; in fact, dangerously stupid. I don’t see the point; it is a dangerous substance and should be banned.

- It is unhealthy. One or two cigarettes are fine, but most people cannot understand that concept, and use it way too much. That creates many serious heath problems, and can even lead to death.

- It endangers my life. People say that smoking only affects them, but they are wrong. What if I’m in a restaurant with a smoker? Is that safe for me?

If you can not understand my reasoning then you must be stupid. Fine, go kill yourself, but don’t do it around me.

- - - -

Recently I have decided I’m not going to drink alcohol. Since I have decided this, I look upon the whole idea of alcohol, and the people who use it as completely stupid; in fact, dangerously stupid. I don’t see the point; it is a dangerous substance and should be banned.

- It is unhealthy. One or two drinks are fine, but most people cannot understand that concept, and use it way too much. That creates many serious heath problems, and can even lead to death.

- It endangers my life. People say that drinking only affects them, but they are wrong. What if I’m on the road with a drunk-driver? Is that safe for me?

If you can not understand my reasoning then you must be stupid. Fine, go kill yourself, but don’t do it around me.

- - - -

Recently I have decided I’m not going to drive a car. Since I have decided this, I look upon the whole idea of driving, and the people who do it as completely stupid; in fact, dangerously stupid. I don’t see the point; it is a dangerous activity and should be banned.

- It is unhealthy. One or two car rides are fine, but most people cannot understand that concept, and do it way too much. This raises their chances of getting into a car accident, and can even lead to death.

- It endangers my life. People say that driving only affects them, but they are wrong. What if I’m on the walking on the sidewalk while sleepy drivers drive by? Is that safe for me?

If you can not understand my reasoning then you must be stupid. Fine, go kill yourself, but don’t do it around me.

- - - -

Recently I have decided I’m not going to live past 50 years old. Since I have decided this, I look upon the whole idea of living past 50, and the people who do it as completely stupid; in fact, dangerously stupid. I don’t see the point; it is a dangerous activity and should be banned.

- It is unhealthy. 40 or 45 years is fine, but most people cannot understand that concept, and live way too long. This raises their chances of having health problems, and can even lead to death.

- It endangers my life. People say that living past 50 only affects them, but they are wrong. What if I’m on the walking on the sidewalk next to an old person and they cough on me giving me one of their old person diseases? Is that safe for me?

If you can not understand my reasoning then you must be stupid. Fine, go live, but don’t do it around me.

- - - -

So tired. This past week I undertook the project of painting Ellie’s tables. It wasn’t hard by any means, but it was just a lot of tedious work, which I hate when paint is involved. I hate when I work (and wait) all day with a stupid Smashmouth song stuck in my head. I hate paint stuck to my hands that won’t seem to come off. I hate how the wind is calm until you start spraying, then it blows out of control and you just end up painting yourself. I hate sanding things. Most of all I hate steel wool. I guess I hated a lot of things about it, but it turned out great. I'm sure El will put up more pictures soon.

I realize I’m writing deliriously right now so I’ll end it. I just wanted to explain why there hasn’t been a post in the past few days. Hopefully my computer and I can get reacquainted this weekend.

I’m releasing myself from the burden of trying to justify my viewpoint of the war in Iraq. I find myself debating anti-war people when only a month ago I was one of them. Why such a quick turnaround? It is not because I changed my beliefs in the slightest but realized that my beliefs called for me to switch sides. Uh, I hate using the term “sides” but it is apparent that this is what it has come to.

I never cared about the politics. I never cared about the oil. I never cared about world opinion (mostly). Overall, I never cared about 99% of the bullshit rhetoric that the anti-war people chant.

One thing I still haven’t concluded is exactly what they think were better alternatives. They can keep my busy with the usual arguments, but not one has yet to define exactly what we should have done instead. Oh, except peace. They all say they want peace. But what is very apparent is that they mean for themselves and not for the Iraqi people. While we are over here enjoying our peace, Saddam is over there killing people.

At the same time I’m not going to boycott France and start calling them “Freedom Fries”. Nor do I think that pre-emptive war is how we should handle international affairs just because we are the country that can blow shit up the best. These people just need to get a grip.

Before the war, I was very worried about Iraqi opinion. I’m not talking about Saddam or the regime, but of the average civilian. I was confused by all the politics and ended up not believing in any of it. One thing that I did not see (for obvious reasons) was what the Iraqi people wanted. Would they hate us or love us? Were they happy or terrified under Saddam? Maybe I wanted the coalition to wait for the UN just so I had time to figure out this question.

That all changed over the past couple days. I wish there wasn’t the classification of “pre-emptive” to all of this, but I can’t change that. All I can do is react to the here and now.

Civilian and coalition deaths are tragic. I hate it when I see the photos of the injured or killed. But what can we do? We train, we sacrifice tactics, and we developed smart bombs to defend against these deaths. Many people think that one death is one too many in this war. But how can they say that when, if we weren’t there fighting, there would be many more killed by Saddam?

There are good things coming from all of this. I watch Iraqis standing by the side of the road waving as Marines drive by. I watch as the food trucks pull up and they crawl over themselves to get it. They act like they don’t know if they will see another truck again but I know they will. I get a very uplifting feeling by knowing that. I watch the footage of children running up to soldiers and the soldiers hand them what food they have. I see Kuwaitis volunteering to pack trucks of food just to help the starving people. Right now I’m hearing on CNN that there is an uprising in Basra. I see civilians smashing and ripping down pictures of Saddam.

Forget Bush. Forget the UN. Forget oil. These are the good things I hoped to see. That’s it.

Classic. Once again noted for some of the stupidest shit ever. Not only does this turn away potential students that - oh I don't know - want to learn, but now they can't attract their main potential group anymore; drunk dumbasses. Ah, whatever. Not like I care anymore.

I can already hear the others huffing in a slight chuckle.

Well I bought Stainless for myself. Seeing it in print is beautiful, except seeing it in purple is painful. The only thing I can see of what went wrong was the RGB to CMYK conversion, or should I say lack there of.

This was a problem I thought of before I uploaded my first image, I dismissed it and I'll tell you why. I thought I should upload in CMYK, but the web, meaning internet browsers, won't display jpgs in CMYK. I searched all over the Zazzle website looking for something telling me what they accepted. They plainly state they only accept jpgs, which is fine, but nothing about color settings. I made an assumption and I was wrong. Although support still hasn't got back to me, I can't think of anything else it could be.

What makes me mad is they don't state it on their website. What really makes me mad is they do accept CMYK, and their thumbnail program converts to RGB but apparently they don't convert at all before they print. What makes me really really mad is they didn't see the problem after they printed it.

The only thing that saves them is that it looks absolutely beautiful (in color-blind eyes) as a print piece. But if anyone thinking about buying any of my stuff, DON'T RIGHT NOW! I have to fix this once support gets back to me, I'll let you know.

UPDATE: It's not the CMYK problem, support says that they expect files to be uploaded RGB. Whew! At least it's not me. They say the printer could have been miscalibrated. I believe so. But they said it could be one other thing that I want to test; monitor calibration. I believe with my whole heart that my monitor is perfectly calibrated but just to make sure I will ask anyone and everyone to comment. Everyone agree that it is blue then purple?

If anyone can print this out on any kind of color printer (I don't have one) please do and get back to me any way you wish.

On most days I live on my computer. Since I don't leave during the day, average time spent is pretty much every hour of every day minus times eating and going to the bathroom. When I do watch TV it is usually over at Ellie's. And that's about it. In any given week I might watch 3 to 4 hours of TV. My TV, which is in the other room, gets turned on vary rarely, and really only if Ellie is over here.

But now things have changed in my TV watching. I've watched it all day. I watch it all day every day. When you watch 24 hour news for as long as I have, you hear everything 20,000 times. I watched the “shock & awe” a little while ago when Baghdad was set ablaze. I know what the incoming siren sounds like in Kuwait City, as well as the siren that gives the all clear. I know every reporter can't give their exact location. I know that the first American/British casualties of the war were 4 Americans and 12 (now they say 8) British Commandos when their Sea Knight went down in Kuwait at 3:00AM. There are a million little facts I know that I can’t think of off the top of my head.

I am so isolated. I feel like I've been watching for days. The old debates over the war seem so far away. The current anti-war protests seem so odd and useless. Even Bush's deadline speech seems like it happened a week ago.

I can't explain it all except to say it's surreal. I'm not apathetic anymore now that I see it actually happening. If you think about it, whatever your feelings were about the war before doesn’t matter anymore. Political protests a month ago might have helped if there were 100,000 more of them. Who knows? But right now I am living with what is happening, something that it not going to change no matter what.

I live in a shitty world with a lot of shitty people. The shittiness will remain until the day I die. Maybe by realizing that fact many of the anti-war protesters might stop protesting. I still to this day can't trust Bush, but watching this I can't think of a world where Saddam should live. If this war - against all of my predictions - turns out perfect (few or no civilians killed, oil belongs to the Iraqis, they are free and they can remain peaceful, there are tons of bio & chem weapons found), will the "peace lovers" of this in hind-sight be on the wrong side? So what if Bush has a personal grudge against Saddam? I'm starting to believe that every person who believes in peace should have a grudge against Saddam. The guy is the definition of a complete piece of living shit. To let him remain in control is a crime against humanity.

With that said, I still do not like Bush. I strongly don't agree with pre-emptive war, and after this I think we should really back off policing the world.

Earlier I was talking to my parents and I was fiddling around with my Mamiya medium format camera. I really wish I had the money right now to get back into shooting film, but I can’t at this point. Not only is medium format on average twice as expensive as 35mm in film costs and developing, but I’m missing crucial components. I could get around not having a lightmeter by just using the one in my Nikon, but I’m missing a scanner. Oh, and “real” studio lights. I’m missing being back in FDU’s film program where I had access to everything.

I’m getting more and more frustrated with digital photography lately. Currently I have a Canon G2, but its limitations are becoming more apparent:

1) It’s slow. With my Nikon, when I see a photographic opportunity I flip the lens cap off, flip a small switch to “on” and snap. Only time lost is due to my reaction time to the situation. With the G2, I turn the knob to shooting mode. I flip the LCD out and have to wait about 5 seconds for the lens to extend and the camera’s BIOS(?) to load up. Then at that point I am ready to shoot, unless I want to zoom, and then it’s another 2-5 seconds.

2) Delayed shutter. Anyone who has a digital camera has to know what I’m talking about. Why is there that lag between pushing and the camera actually taking the shot? In the studio it’s fine, but I have missed countless expressions of people (and Jack) because it caught them a second later.

3) Interchangeable lenses. It’s the same old argument I’ve had… since forever.

I’ve realized I’m never going to buy another consumer digital camera ever again. The pro cameras by Nikon and Canon are attractive but unobtainable. I cannot ever foresee myself buying a camera body that is $2,000 - $8,000. And at that, the only one that catches my eye is the Canon EOS-1 Ds. With its 11.1 megapixels, it is the only one that could be potential long-standing against future competition. Even then I would need to buy into the Canon lens system.

I am in the group of people that cannot find its place. The professionals found their's as well as the regular average joe taking pictures for his weblog. It’s sad to say, but film is still the right choice for people like me. Too bad I can’t afford regular film/developing costs let alone a scanner.

Damn it though, I love digital. Will anyone buy me one? Come on, I'll be your best friend forever...

The first computer I used when I got into graphics was great. It was a 486/66 with 32MB of RAM with a 500MB hard drive. That’s right; it didn’t even count up into the GB’s of hard drive space. Only until a few years later, when I got my first computer, did I get a 6.2GB hard drive.

When I got that hard drive, I was imagining that it was probably all I would ever need. I mean over 6 gigabytes? Who would ever need that much space?

Yeah, well I laughed at myself at a later date. That later date was the day I bought my 28GB hard drive. I was more hesitant that time, and only mildly chuckled in the idea of filling that one up. In addition to the 6.2GB, it was a fairly large 34GB system. I mean over 34 gigabytes? Who would ever need that much space?

I’m not going to laugh this time. I have about a gig left before I need to buy a new hard drive. Unfortunately I have no money to buy it, so soon I’ll be burning a lot to CD’s. But when I do have the money I might buy a 200GB hard drive. I’m not going to laugh, chuckle, or even smile this time because I’ll probably fill that one up someday as well.

What is Iraq? Who is Saddam? Why such a fuss about something as stupid as them? Before I watched our President stumble over his words in tonight’s speech, I had on Entertainment Tonight when one story caught my attention. I guess one of the Dixie Chicks (the music group) said something negative about Bush, and now radio stations in Texas are banning them from the radio. To go even further, they are calling on everyone to destroy their Dixie Chicks CD collections. They went on in the story to show people in Texas smashing CD's; even running them over with huge trucks.

Hilarious.

Before any of America's enemies can do it, America is starting to destroy itself. I find it extremely funny because I have been living in a shell-shocked reality ever since it all began. I've actually crossed the line between being scared and outright insanity.

I never focused on Iraq or Saddam. I see it as not a war, but a reflection of America gone mad. The "war" is a Pandora's Box. Across the world people debate, as I have, as to should we fight or not. What do you think? Haha, it doesn't matter! No matter what America does in Iraq, it won't stop terrorism. Look at the battle-hardened Israelis; look at how calmly the little school children put on their gas masks and protective clothing. We are in the same boat as they are now. America better get used to it, or we're going to split the country apart.

America's history led down a very lucky path. The choices great leaders of this country's past led us into very care-free times. Our current leader is so much of a reflection of America's mind-set that it is borderline ironic. We fumble over our words, blink way too much, and think we are always blessed and in the right.

But to narrow-mindedly believe that the choices we have made for ourselves is the perfect solution for every country in the world is just wrong. Moreover, to believe that everything we do is the right thing is utter ignorance. It will alienate the world very quickly. For a country whose lifeline is the world, to cut them out of the future is to cut out America's heart.

Where are we going? Why such contempt for the views of or own allies, neighbors, and fellow citizens? Current sentiments make me feel like if I'm not patriotic then I'm a traitor. If this is the true ideology of America, then are we no better of a dictatorship than the one we are going to overthrow in the desert?

Sometimes I get extremely angry because I feel all the anger pointed towards me. I'm sorry after I lash out, but it is already too late. I catch myself being the kind of person I'm talking about and loath.

I lied earlier. Underneath my crazy laughter, I am scared. Only reason America is struggling and fighting these different opinions is because everyone is scared just as much as me. The fighting justifies individual opinions, hardening them to a resolve that is the right answer.

Only difference between the focused opinion and my insane laughter is that I realize one major fact. There is no right and wrong anymore. Things are not black and white. There is just one big sea of grey.

To officially state my opinion on Iraq, I'm against war right now. I like to compare it to cutting hair; you can always cut it shorter, but once you cut it then that's it. We have hundred of thousands of troops over there right now so I don't think Saddam has too much flexibility to train terrorists or develop a nuclear bomb. Why don't we hold off for a while and at least work on UN approval? I don't see why we need to rush into this. Well, besides timing it for future political and economic gains. But that is just sleazy, and not what I believe should be the ideals of my country.

As to the future of me talking about this in general I can honestly say I done. I've fallen back into the world of apathy once and for all.

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After a lot of thought I decided that from now on I am going to start closing the comments on old entries. It will suck for someone who misses the window they can comment on a particular entry, but I don't see the point in having comments still open on entries from months ago. Do you see a point?

Anyway, I was going to go with an automatic comment closing script until I realized it was too inflexible for me. For certain entries, lets say a tutorial, I would want the comments to permanently stay open. Also, I want the closing point to be flexible so I can decide when an entry has no more comment relevancy. This creates more work for me doing it manually, but I think it's the better way.

So keep in mind that from now on you'll only have a week or two to comment, so find the right words quickly.

Well I'm back. Back from Seattle, back from the wedding, and back from the longest period of time from not writing since I started my site. As to the trip, I had a blast. I thought I would have plenty of time to sit around and write when I was home, but I had barely enough time to even visit my daily sites and comment a few times. Total time on the internet was maybe two hours the whole five days I was home.

I'm going to hold off posting pictures and commentary about the trip until tomorrow. Right now I'm drained, disoriented due to the time difference, and catching up on five days of being without Jack.

But until tomorrow, I want to comment on one thing; how much this place has changed in just the five short days I've been gone.

Wednesday morning I was slipping on the ice taking our luggage to my car. There was still two good feet of snow piled in front of my car (down from around 5 feet). Waiting for the airport shuttle Ellie and I were bundled up, watching our breaths as we smoked.

Fast forward to tonight, Sunday. In the airport and while waiting for the shuttle Ellie and I were hot under the same coats. As I pulled into my spot, I was surprised to see all the snow was gone. As I was walking from my car to my front door I stopped. I closed my eyes and took a long, deep breath. The smell was distinct and undeniable. Spring is here.

If you're a casual visitor to my site it may look like nothing has been going on around here in the past few days. Besides the macro overview that was very poorly written due to sleep deprivation, it's pretty much true. Not because I'm just sitting around being lazy, but because I'm actually busy. Not too often you'll hear me say that until I get a job somewhere.

Anyway, what I've been working on lately is building my Zazzle gallery of things to buy. The latest I added was "Stainless" poster/card. Earlier I added "Springs", which I've put up as a desktop as well.

UPDATE: Garrett brought up the point that in the case of "Stainless", if he was a potential buyer he would like to see a larger version. I'm assuming most people would because Zazzle doesn't do it much justice. So here is a larger, better quality version.

You might have noticed I'm slowing down on my 3D work and starting to focus on photography more now. I tend to go in cycles like these, where I feel more creative doing something different. So instead of sitting here and trying to force out something 3D, I'm just going to go with the flow and focus on photography right now. I'm not saying that if all of a sudden I get a good 3D idea I won't do it, but my mind is racing thinking about taking pictures. If you really want more 3D you'll probably have to wait a couple weeks.

"Stainless" has been my biggest project yet, and something I'll never attempt again. Silverware is notoriously hard to light, and to add the triptych effect was too much, even though I like how it turned out. But it was 4 hours of shooting followed by 4 hours of scratch removal. If you want to start shooting silverware I would recommend buying new. Those were my everyday spoons and forks, and once again macro makes stuff like that stick out like a zit on a forehead.

The biggest anxiety right now is my sister's wedding in Seattle this coming weekend. I'm dreading the flight, but I'm excited for my sister. I won't be able to calm down though until the plane lands in Sea-Tac. I don't know how it's going to effect the updating of this site, but I'm predicting very little. Even though I'm preparing myself to be busy, there will probably be times I'm so bored I'll write a new entry every five minutes.

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Do you shoot macro photography with your digital camera? For most of us you digital macro people, close-up filters are all we you need. I personally don't own any because I'm poor, and lazy. But if I did it would be all I need. (I'm not too bad off, because cropping usually is fine for me. I'll probably need to get some soon though because I'll need the full-frame.)

But what if it isn't close enough? What if you want to take a picture of a fly, ant, or a dragonfly? Conventional digital camera ways will not offer you what you want, so you got to go with what they call "poor-man's macro", when you take a regular 35mm camera lens, reverse it, and stick it on your digital camera.

Here is what you'll need:
- A digital camera that offers the option to screw on filters.
- Some close-up filters.
- Optional teleconverter.
- Optional off-camera flash.
- Male-Male filter ring.
- A 35mm camera lens. (50mm is recommended)

If you have those follow this overview on how to take pictures in extreme macro.

After going through everything I really wanted to go out and start taking pictures like these. But then I realized I don't want to take pictures of insects. Then I realized I really don't know what I would take pictures of. With the DF being paper-thin (seriously) I can't think of anything, although I will try it if and when I have the chance or need arises.

Finally. After two long weeks of being down Zazzle has put up their new site. I'm sure no one will buy a thing, but at least all my "store" links don't go to that stupid transition page. That said, buy my stuff. As to the site, this is what I can see as new features and modifications:

- New products. Greeting Cards & Apparel.
- Better product previews.
- Better navigation inside my store.
- New print sizes. Portfolio & Colossal.
- Wider selection of paper and canvas.
- Better overall buying experience.

There might be more, but this is all I see as the major changes. Personally I don't see why the site had to be down for two weeks to make these changes, but oh well.

I like the new portfolio size; it offers an even better size for people who don't want a poster but just a print. The colossal size is ridiculous. The huge size was bigger than anyone would buy in the first place, but it might have just been added to make contributors happy.

The wider paper selection is also a great addition, as I can really see people buying into all of the different types. The fine-art paper is the most interesting to me.

As to the new products, they are cool but I don't know if I will contribute to them. I have been thinking of making a cafe press store, and they cover apparel as well as coffee mugs and mouse pads.

I think the site's biggest change was the mental change in users’ minds. It feels like a solid site that can be trusted to buy from. They were always that way, but before when they had "beta" in their name I could see the level of mistrust some buyers could have. I bought stuff when they were beta, and the buying experience was perfect.

So, since I have never stated on this site before, go buy my stuff! I will be putting up new pieces very soon.

It's been a long time since I've been sick, and now I remember how it is. Fortunately I think I am getting over it now, and today I feel a lot better. Last night was a completely different story though. I think it was something I ate; I was kept up until 4 in the morning not knowing if I was going to vomit again or not.

That’s right, again.

(WARNING: If you feel like the previously stated material will gross you out, I recommend skipping over this entry; it only gets worse and more descriptive. I did not mean for it to be funny, but a very true to life remembrance. Sorry if it offends you, it is/was not my intention.)

After I ate dinner last night I instantly knew something was not right. The food was not settling, and it got worse over the next few hours. Then, while sitting at my computer I realized it all was going to come up. I don't know how I knew that, I find it funny (in hind-sight) that I had that feeling. I mean I've only vomited a few times in my life that weren't related to drinking, but my inexperience had no effect on the fact that I knew.

So I ran to the bathroom flipped the seat up. I must have spent a good 5 minutes hanging over the toilet in anticipation. It didn't come and the wave of nausea subdued. While sitting on my bathroom floor I realized my mission; I was going to have to do it the hard way.

Nothing is harder mentally for me then intentionally gagging myself. I stood up and paced the bathroom mumbling to myself, "Just do it." I looked at myself in the mirror and did the typical build-up speech to myself. I noticed Jack was sleeping in the tub and I tried to get him out of the bathroom but he wouldn't budge. I had to just slide the shower door shut on him because I didn't want him to get involved once it started.

Then when I was pacing again the nausea came back, and my body made it easy for me. I sprung for the toilet. The only words I can describe it was that it was fast and furious.

I didn't feel particularly better afterward. The mental picture of me standing up after and it being on my face and hands stuck with me. Plus tomato sauce is not the most attractive thing when you're seeing it for the second time.

At least the nausea wasn't back when I woke up this afternoon. I'm still feeling weak, but I'm feeling a lot better. As I tell myself after every time I vomit, I never want to go through that again.

What started out as just a better organization of the photos section grew to involve more of the site. I'm sorry to all the people that have been visiting when the pages were all messed up. I really don't have a "test area" where I can see how my dynamic pages are displayed, so the live site turns into that. I'm done with the most major changes, so display problems should be over.

What caused the most delay was due to the fact I lost internet last night and it wasn't back on until noon today.

Anyway, hope you like the new changes.

Why can't Zazzle put up their new website? I don't know why it's bothering this much, but I can't stand it. They lied to me when they said it was going to be up last weekend. If I e-mail them again they will probably lie to me again. I know the day I take out all my links to them will be the day they put it up. It has now been well over a week since they took it down. I think that is longer than the time I had my artwork up there for sale.

This whole Iraq issue is really getting old. I’m tired of it. I want it to just go away. Not because I’m an ignorant American who is too focused on his own life to care about anything else, but because I’m an American who has been following the issue very closely since the beginning when last July Bush was looking at the legal ramifications. Now, on the verge of a decisive decision, I want to throw my arms up and just stay "whatever."

I’m not anxious to start the attack, nor am I anxious to stop the war. There are two sides to this coin, and I’m sitting on the rim of the coin in pure apathy. The only question in my mind is, “will this stop (or help the fight against) terrorism?” Then I laugh.

Either way terrorism is going to continue. Nobody is going to see a difference. That’s the scary part about terrorism; it’s everyone and no one at the same time. To kill one terrorist is to make another. There will always be someone on the verge of becoming one, and a war like this will push them over. Instead of telling the world that we are a peaceful society, we blindly attack them. It fits right into their stereotype of us and it fuels them on. At the same time if we coward away from it now, it will only fuel them on.

I don’t care anymore. Why should I care about a war that in the end doesn’t matter if we fight or go home?

Some people claim that they sometimes can use unusual words in a conversation but have forgotten the meaning of the word; sort of an unconscious remembrance of the definition of the word. Rather than thinking twice they just blurt it out. Later they look it up and it was exactly what they meant. They pride themselves on this ability, and I believe they should.

I'm not one of those people. Earlier today I was thinking to myself about something that since I've forgotten relating to photography. All of a sudden I said to myself, "That's a peridium!" I know now that I too remember words, but get the words and the meanings all mixed up. For a peridium, by definition, is "the covering of the spore-bearing organ in many fungi."

Yeah, now I have one of them. It's pretty cool that it's all dynamic and I can even upload and create thumbs through MT. The thumbs probably are not as good as they should be, but because they are dynamic I'll use them. It's pretty bare right now, but it will grow. I have a few photos lying around that I should put up, so it will take a few days or weeks to get it really going.

I'm not calling it a photoblog because it isn't. It is a section I'm going to put photography, not snapshots of a series of events. When those come around, I'm going to do the same sort of thing I did with the blizzard of last month.

I want to say thanks to Garrett for helping me out a lot with it. The fact that he wrote a tutorial on it yesterday was very coincidental, but was crucial in hind-sight.

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Posted a new desktop entitled Abstract.Flow. This is not actually the whole piece, hence very simple looking. This is the second cell of a three cell poster I'm making. When El saw the layout to the poster she said it has a very oriental art-type feel to it (at least from a distance), and I agree. It's hard to tell by this cell, but I thought I would post something new for you.

If Zazzle ever get their act together, you will be seeing this piece (as part of the whole) as well as Abstract.Curves for sale as posters. I'm still very sorry about all the links that go to that "under construction" page.

I have never been a man of standard preferences when it comes to bathing products. When I was a kid, I would use the soap and shampoo that my mom bought me to use. I held onto those preferences until I started dating girls, then I caught myself using their shampoo. Yet lately I've been at a loss for a standard brand of shampoo.

Over the past two years, I've stuck with the Herbal Essences series, for I liked the smell. I'm bored of it now. Smell has everything to do with it, because 1) I really don't have much hair to "revitalize" or "strengthen" and 2) I don't believe that shampoo really "revitalizes" or "strengthens." They all wash hair, on a pretty even playing field. But what makes them different is the smell. You have you "I want to smell like grandma" shampoo, your "I want to smell like a field full of daisies" shampoo, and your "I want to smell like a musty old man" shampoo.

These selections confuse me for there is not one smell that fits my personality. Why can't there be? Needless to say, I'm on the constant lookout for my next favorite smell.

Yesterday I picked an interesting one; VO5's Strawberries and Cream. I didn't really get a good smell in the shampoo isle because the shampoo isle smells like everything. The "everything" in that isle is ideally the exact smell I'm looking for. Yet, when I got in the shower and broke the new bottle open, a rather conflicting sensation came over me. Do it rub it in my hair, or do I lick it until it's all gone? This stuff smells so much like strawberries and cream that it was extremely hard to force myself not to eat it. In complete seriousness, I wonder what it would taste like.

Now the Observer has posted an apparent leak from a NSA informant that pretty much states that America is spying on UN delegates to get information on how they are planning to vote on Iraq. It has already been noticed that the memo has British spelling and date format, which leads to the belief that it was faked. The Observer has come back and had defended it, saying that all of the changes were done to "maintain conformity" on the website.

I say liars. Now I'm not one to believe that the US could never spy on something like this, but I believe that this is not proof. I think it's a fake, and a poor fake at that.

First, I still want to point to all of the obvious British spelling/date format. It seems to me to be a little ridiculous that they would post something as groundbreaking as that, and change spelling for such a stupid reason as conformity. There wasn't even a disclaimer or reference to it, until someone noticed it. Seems a bit too easy.

Second, after reading the memo I think of a line from Minority Report, when Colin Farrell was at the scene where Tom Cruise was framed for murder. He said, "It's an orgy of evidence." Referring to the fact that the evidence was so numerous and obvious that it was too good to be true. I tend to think the same thing about the memo. It is too guilty and too ambiguous at the same time. A dangerous combination.

There is something to be said about shopping for food on a Saturday night. Like most people, I tend to go main food shopping on Sunday. I know I could go anytime, but during the weekdays I'm either too lazy, too tired, or too focused on something else. Plus that is when stay-at-home mom's go, and they are really a pain. But tonight, El and I went and it was fantastic. Nobody was there, they had multiple available cashiers, and they were just putting out the fresh produce and meat.

We're going to go see Old School in a few minutes. I hope it is as funny and stupid as everyone (including the commercials) say it is.